Affirming Words, part 1 - SERMON NOTES

Intro: (1) series recap (2) Crabtree book (3) definition (3) biblical examples

Characteristics of Affirmation

1. Correctionless (16:24): (1) affirming words are like sweet treats, but ones that are actually
healthy (cf. okra ice cream) (2) affirming without correcting (cf. manager’s “sandwich” method
(3) v.21,23 → a way to be influential

2. Consistent (15:23): (1) one aspect of timing is being consistent (cf. husband saying “I love you”) (2) compliments tend to decrease over time (cf. dating, marriage) (3) lack of criticism does not equal affirmation (cf. avoiding poison vs. eating nutrients) (4) put it on calendar (cf. flowers)

3. Candid (12:19): (1) honesty builds endurance into our relationships (2) the best sincere
affirmations flow from a heart being transformed by Christ (3) hearts that are self-focused don’t
affirm (4) look for ways to affirm Christlikeness in others (cf. two pastors)

Mistakes in Affirming

1. Optional (11:24-25): (1) principle of giving in order to receive (2) app to money, words (3) part of being a worshiper is “praising” others (cf. Mt. 25:41) (3) one way to counteract discouragement is to proactively bless/serve others (cf. Sherlock Holmes)

2. Only (22:9): (1) actions necessary in addition to words (cf. 2 Cor. 9:8, Eph. 2:10, James 2:15-16) (2) only one form of blessing → meals, giving rides, encouraging, staying in difficult marriage, serving (4) danger of doing minimum (cf. providing father who doesn’t relationally engage)

3. Obsequious (29:5): (1) flattery traps oneself/others (2) affirmation grounded in image of God, not commending what God condemns (cf. Isaiah 5:20) (3) examples → humor, complimenting in order to get something, rebellious toddler, exaggerated praise, self-esteem vs. self-acceptance

Conclusion: (1) cards → who can you affirm this week (2) shep group (3) next week → practical ways